Life consists of two things. Things that work and things that don't work. Good experiences and bad experiences. A mishap or bad experience leaves an irreparable scar on our hearts, but it has a way of teaching us something relevant to our situation. Growth comes from pain. The death of a loved one brings an indescribable pain in our life, but it teaches us the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment that we share with our loved ones – they are not here forever. Divorce breaks our hearts, but it teaches us that our worth is not defined by the relationship status we build with others, but by the relationship that we build with ourselves – happiness comes from within. Loss of a job fractures one’s self-confidence, but on the flip side, it provides us with a renewed sense of direction – when life gives you a lemon, squeeze it into lemonade.
While we can do everything possible in our power to leapfrog or circumvent bad experiences, they have a way of finding us. When you have a bad experience, instead of letting it destroy you, try to find a silver lining within its presence. Even in challenging times, there is something good or positive to be discovered. Let the bad experience turn your life around. Warren G. Lester once said, “... success in life does not come from holding a good hand, but from playing a poor hand well.” Embrace life’s difficulties. Make necessary adjustments after learning from a mishap. This is what life is all about.
I will never forget a story that I heard in high school about Thomas Edison. In 1914, his factory was destroyed by a fierce fire, causing the loss of millions of dollars of equipment, stocks, and finished products. As the fire continued to gut down the factory, Edison’s son desperately sought his father. He saw his father standing near the fire. The son’s heart ached, feeling sorry for his father. When Edison saw his son, he beckoned him, “... son, where is your mother? Call her. She has to see this spectacle. She will never witness anything like this in her entire life.” The wife came and saw the catastrophe. It was a massive loss of wealth. Her heart sank with apprehension.
The next morning, Edison and his wife went for a walk. Walking through the rubble of the destroyed factory, Edison said something to his wife that brought back her lost smile and lit up her dull face, “... there is great value in disaster. Listen, my dear, all our mistakes are burned up. Thank God, we can start afresh.” What a bold statement.
A powerful leadership lesson can be drawn from the story. Looking at a loss or defeat in a positive light is the key to bouncing back to success. From the ashes of the burnt factory, Edison went on to found General Electric (GE), which is the world’s largest manufacturer of energy, jet engines, and health technologies, with operations in more than 130 countries.
Hotel Regency had been operating in the Sumbawanga market for three decades, yet Ludovik Ogunza and his team found it difficult to penetrate the market. Wherever he and his team went for a product pitch, the feedback was the same: “... never heard of the name Regency before. Are you new in Sumbawanga? What do you do? Where are your offices in town?” As the CEO, he told himself that he needed to do something. Something big and fast. Before things got worse, he sought the services of the country’s top brand management consultants. A report was issued with a myriad of recommendations: Introduce a nationwide marketing campaign. Sponsor sports competitions. Conduct radio and television talk shows. Do road shows in all major cities. Place billboards in strategic areas of the cities. The consultants also recommended that Regency place a giant billboard or signage at its head office specifying services and locations of operation. Consented. A big sign was designed and delivered to the head office for placement. Before they could take it up, the head office was relocated to new premises on the periphery of the city in keeping with the consultants’ recommendations.
Upon relocating to the new premises, the signage was put up next to another sign owned by a leading high-tech company, Kazi ni Kwako. Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. Regency’s signage did not measure up to its neighbor, both in size and design. Kazi’s signage was bigger and more elegant than Regency’s. By far. When Regency designed their signage, the plan was to produce the biggest signage in town, such that no other signage or billboard could match it. Indeed, when it was delivered to them by the consultant, they regarded it as such – the biggest signage in Sumbawanga. But they were in for a rude awakening; their signage was dwarfed by the one that they found at the site. In fact, Regency’s signage was half the size of Kazi’s. Although it looked awkward to have the two signs placed next to each other, contrasting in elegance and size, they went ahead with the placement. Afterall, it served the intended purpose as recommended by the consultants.
What was true for Hotel Regency’s billboard is true for most of us. We do not always measure up to others. Most of the time, we pretend or think that we are the best in our orbit, when in reality, we are a novice or a below-par performer. The people you associate with may recognize you as the most beautiful person ever born - take a trip to some faraway place, and you will meet folks who are above your grade of beauty. You may brag about being the most intelligent person attending an elite grammar school in your country and pulling a string of straight A's in your college final year physics examinations. But remember, the label of the most intelligent person is still held by Albert Einstein. You may see yourself as an affluent person because you fly business class - sorry to say this - the affluent fly their own jets. People may acknowledge you as wise because you always put forward meaningful arguments in hot discourses; do not let the credit intoxicate you as if you are the wisest person in the world - the biblical King Solomon still holds the title.
For every dollar that you have in your wallet, there is someone out there who has two dollars more in his purse. You may have written ten books and credit yourself for the feat. Yes, it is certainly a great achievement [well done], but understand that there are millions of people out there who have unassailable volumes and titles under their belt. You may have run two road races and start making noise about them, basking in psychic glory. Take the time to read about Eliud Kipchoge, Abebe Bikila, Steve Jones, Haile Gebrselassie, and Maria Mutola, and you will appreciate how far you are yet to hit the pavements.
The greater point, dear reader, is that you need to define your riverbank. Know your limits. There are billions [repeat billions] of people out there who are better in action, personality, and affluence than you. Be humble. Swallow your pride. Yes, it is good to challenge the status quo or compare yourself with others, but you need to know your limits. Know the margins of your abilities so that you do not fall into the trap of thinking that the world revolves around you as a primary center of gravity.
The cardinal mistake that most of us make in life is that we grandiose ourselves as if we are a god and praise our works as if we have discovered a new continent altogether. We over-glorify ourselves and talk highly about our results. We behave like this because of a lack of exposure, pure ignorance, utter delusion, and preposterous ideation.
Most often, when we step up our game to do something more daring, we immediately face a negative situation that tries to discourage us or convince us that we do not measure up. Every time we have a new idea that we think will revolutionize the market, there is always a group of people waiting in the wings to oppose us and snatch the idea before it takes root. There is always someone screaming in our ears, ‘... that we don’t have the expertise required; . . . that we are too old to run a marathon or start a new business venture; . . . that we are too poor to own a house and live in Oyster Bay.” Words of discouragement crop up, scaring us away from greatness. The truth of the matter is that whenever we find ourselves in such a situation, we compare ourselves with others, who we are and what we have achieved, against who others are and what they have achieved. Unfortunately, in most cases, we often find ourselves lacking, not measuring up to others, as seen in Regency’s signage in the story above. So, we tumble into relegation mode and develop psychic cracks. Yes, cracks of incompleteness, envy, resentment, frustration, and rage. We look for strategies to fill the psychic holes, promote our imagination, and validate our work. We forget that if we are to achieve something worth pointing a finger at in life, we need to be contrarians.
Appreciate that for one ingenuity that you come across in your orbit, there are countless ingenuities in the other orbits. Every person you interact with or meet in the street, no matter how lowly they may look, knows something that you do not know. They can do or may have achieved something that you have failed to do or achieve. The world is so expansive that you cannot make it spin its axis around you at your will. Learn to be humble. Humility is like a pair of Levi's blue jeans; they never go out of fashion. You will not go out of fashion by being humble. Just do your part. This troubled world of ours needs more heroes. You have what it takes to be one.
When Edison learned that his factory was on fire, he did not bother thinking or talking about how the competition would take advantage of his downtime or take away his clients. He looked within. He embraced the unpleasant experience and considered it a launching pad for a new business direction. He remarked, “. . . there is great value in disaster; . . . . all our mistakes are burned up; . . . thank God, we can start afresh.” Similarly, when Ludovik and his Hotel Regency learned that their signage could not measure up and was outdone in elegance and size, he did not loathe the unpleasant experience. Instead, he chose to coexist among and with the best.
There is a term in clinical psychology called grandiosity. Grandiosity is a delusion that entraps us with the thinking that we are the best in any environment we find ourselves in. It is a dangerous illusion that, if not attended to expeditiously, leads to unsustainable success. The bottom line is that those who hold grandiose thinking lose touch with reality. They make irrational decisions, which in a way expose them to unfamiliar territory and poor choices, creating a vicious cycle of fractured and charred success. Yes, success built on grandiosity does not last. It has a drug-like effect [nguvu ya soda in Swahili] and is cosmetic like men’s Gucci perfume. It does not last forever.
Views from the top are that you are simply one person out of many millions of doctors, lawyers, insurers, pilots, coders, secretaries, hunters, farmers, grave-diggers, CEOs, general managers, pizzamakers, judges, writers, architects, university professors, musicians, professional footballers, entrepreneurs, and other professionals in the world. You are not [and do not take yourself to be] naturally superior to anyone else. Tame your grandiose tendency. It will land you in unwanted territories. Appreciate that the world’s phenomena are complex. The world is governed by laws. The laws of nature are instinctively complex. Any action that you take in life triggers a law of nature or a series of laws of nature in motion, which in turn determine your level of success. The proverbial rainbows and butterflies do not span the achievement of success. No. We trigger success with the right thinking and action. When we learn to see ourselves in the right perspective and have the confidence to be brutally honest in our self-evaluation, we eliminate the dreaded disease of grandiosity. Yes, people who hold and see themselves in this perspective will always rise to stardom and become great.
Lester Chinyang’anya ǀ General Manager - Operations ǀ Minet Malawi
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