When one catches Malaria, there are a number of indicators/symptoms that point towards it. These may include body chills, night sweats, headaches, tiredness, and nausea. The illness may last 5-7 days among adults or 1-2 days among children. Often, we will not judge them by these symptoms but rather be concerned and mindful of the parasite on the inside that triggers the presented symptoms. Likely we will be sympathetic to their pains and cold chills- offer them quilts to warm up, take them to a nearby medical facility, while a beloved relative prepares chicken soup to sip on when they return from the hospital.
Have you ever wondered what inspires the behaviour we observe about another before we draw conclusions about how despicable they are? We judge others by the behaviour their wounds inspire. Often, when we see something about another that is unfathomable, or out of the ordinary, we are quick to draw conclusions based on what we have seen. Just like the symptoms of malaria; some wounds inspire the behaviour you see. We never volunteer to nurse these wounds like we do for those with malaria by offering them warm quilts. So, we judge on…yet we never judge those with malaria for having been bitten by the mosquito.
The thoughts and experiences that guide our behaviours are more important than the behaviours themselves. Before you let the natural judgments come through, stop and think, am I being empathetic or subjective? We often judge those whose thoughts and behaviours differ from ours, not because we are innately bad, but because we choose ignorance! The real problem lies in not knowing, and not knowing that we do not know, for this bares our cognitive emptiness. We have written off or judged others with mental challenges based on interpreting their behaviours from where we stand not where they are. Often, we use our personalities as a standard of measure and interpret the world as we are, not as it is.
Personality is an individual’s characteristic way of thinking, feeling, and behaving. It’s engraved in moods, attitudes, and opinions that come off during intra- and interpersonal engagements. It’s not a boil on a butt that you may conceal if you choose to but will stick out like a sore thumb and may present as an untreated disorder. Personality disorders may be undetectable to an ordinary person and an individual with one may be written off as an outwardly impolite, disrespectful, junky, and all sorts of unflattering references.
A personality disorder can be understood as an individual’s innately accepted (in their world) pattern of behaviour of a specified kind that strays significantly from the norms of generally acceptable conduct. Undoubtedly, these cause long-term difficulties in personal/social interactions with others (friends, relatives, workmates). Symptoms may include a lack of compassion, empathy, guilt, and an inability to form lasting relationships. It is generally an unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning, and behaving (unknown to the sufferer). Personality is the core of our interactions and if flawed yet unknown to self and others, is a recipe for disaster until insight is gained on the sufferer’s mental state.
Let us single out Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) as an example. An HPD, or a dramatic personality disorder, is a psychiatric disorder distinguished by a pattern of exaggerated emotionality and attention-seeking behaviours. It is categorized in "Cluster B”. HPD includes narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder which are all commonly described as dramatic, excitable, erratic, or volatile. Sufferers here are typically characterized as attention seekers, flirtatious, seductive, charming, manipulative, impulsive, and lively. Sufferers dread the thought of being by themselves, may come off as dramatic, and display erratic behaviours. Generally, mental illnesses are characterized by patterns of thinking, feeling, behaving, and interacting that deviate from cultural expectations.
People with HPD battle with emotional instability, feelings of shame, rage, long-term emptiness, and loneliness that may have no apparent justification, or may be a result of noticeably insignificant stimuli or triggers. But from where they stand, these feelings are real and justified. Defensiveness raises the cost of disagreement, and often the price is higher considering society’s ignorance and lack of understanding or willingness to be educated. People are more likely to read about a new malaria drug than they are to read about mental ill health. They'd be more inclined to take a malaria test than a test for anxiety or depression. For example, unaware that the inside lining of your dress has given way, you will walk flaunting your bare skin unintentionally. However, when you learn that you have been giving onlookers easy access to your wonders, you hurriedly touch up. This is the same with people with mental ill-health with no insight. They do not see the world around them like others. Going the extra mile to understand their plight goes a long way. You see when we stick to the judgments we hold against mental ill-health, we continue having drama spewed long before anything dramatic unfolds. Hold your judgments, and look beyond self, this way, you will contribute to another’s mental well-being.
Moses Mpanga | Minet EAP Consultant| Minet Uganda
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