Philosopher Elbert Hubbard knew exactly what he inferred when he pronounced, “. . . do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” Be in the world but not too much in the world.
Last Saturday, I went grocery shopping at Nakumatt supermarket at Mlimani City Mall. I try as much as I can to be unorthodox when it comes to trademark habits, including shopping sprees – I merely visit sections of the shop that stock supplies that I am looking for. But on this particular day, I decided to break my tradition. Listening to a motivational podcast on personal growth – The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale - I rounded the length and breadth of the shop, marveling at the provisions shelf by shelf. It had been a while since I last visited Nakumatt supermarket.
As I pushed my trolley in the aisle of one section of the shop, through the corner of my right eye, I saw a woman with a child, who I guess was seven years old or so, arguing fervently. A disagreement about the purchase or something of that nature: by the look of things, it was not a small disagreement. The young man was thumping his feet on the floor, attracting the attention of shop assistants and other shoppers, to the great discomfort of the mother. He sobbed, too. His mother tried to be tacit about the misdemeanor of the young man. But one thing was clear about the two shoppers – they had a misunderstanding.
I walked to the scene to play peacemaker and asked the mother what the young man was up to. She responded shyly, “. . . never mind. He always acts strangely, whenever we go grocery shopping. Today, his demand is extraordinarily outlandish. He wants me to buy something that is not on our shopping list and unbudgeted for. I am trying to reason with him that we should plan to buy the gadget next time when we have enough money. But he can’t pay heed to my proposal. And I cannot give in to his funny demand.”
I thought that I could help out; perhaps buy the item that the fella was fighting his mother for. I presumed he was looking for a packet of biscuits, a candy, a small toy, or something of that nature. Lo, had I known! It was not to be! The young man wanted his mum to buy him a luxurious toy car – the type of toy car that kids from upper-class residential areas drive in their neighborhoods’ boulevards if you know what I mean. Its price? Four and a half million shillings. The price mark made me discontinue my engagement with the two shoppers. I left the scene silently and unnoticed. I did not want to pour libation for the troubles beyond my pocket-sized wallet. After all, it was none of my business.
I continued my shopping in the other section of the shop, still thinking about the two arguing shoppers on the far side of the shop. I picked a few requirements from the shelf; when I lifted my eyes, who did I see? The young man and his mother were still trying to outdo each other on the merits and demerits of purchasing the snobbish gadget. The young man was now unsettled and more coercive than initially. At this moment, I did not want to play messiah or peacemaker. I just waved at the young man – after all, he was not in a talking mood. I proceeded with my shopping.
I vanished to the extreme end of the shop. I picked the last item on my shopping list and headed to the counter to pay for the supplies. As I was exiting the sliding doorway of the shop, I could not believe what I saw: the young man pushing a big trolley loaded with the gadget, fully assembled. He was also carrying a cone of ice cream in his other hand. A shop assistant helped his mother to push the groceries trolley. I was smiling impulsively, marveling at and admiring the boy’s tactics. He not only convinced his mother to buy the high-priced and luxurious gadget but asked for a cone of ice cream as well; as a bonus!
This time, I did not want the escapade to elude me. After all, the gadget’s bill was already paid for. There was nothing to dread anymore. I approached the young man and congratulated him for the classy gadget and asked how exactly he managed to convince his mother to buy such an expensive item unprepared. He smiled, licked his ice cream twice, and laughed with a rare aura of coolness, buoyance, and self-confidence. I then turned my attention to his mother, “. . . madam, could I give you my contact details and ask you to please let me know when the young man is eighteen years old?" Why, you may ask? As I like his valor. His demeanor. His courage. His tenacity. His boldness for not taking no for an answer. I will definitely offer him employment as my sales manager. The last statement sent the two shoppers into endless stitches of laughter. I waved them goodbye. We parted ways.
With all the excessive uncertainties, piercing volatilities, and punishing velocity of change that is taking place in the world right now, we need leadership missionaries. Yes, leaders with ironclad conviction in their forte. Leaders who are grounded in their crusade, come sunshine or rain. Leaders who deepen their devotion to being merchants of wow, always. Like the young man in the story above, we need people who don’t take no for an answer.
A decade and a half ago, I met a maharaja. I subjected myself to his tutelage as a leadership and personal mastery apprentice. He inculcated an axiom in me that I will live to remember for the rest of my life, “... what makes wine to be magnificent is not the factory processes that it goes through but the terroir.” He went on to define terroir as the environment under which the vines that are used to produce the wine are grown. They include soil, climate, and farming practices, inter alia. You and I are like wine. We are shaped and sharpened by our terroir – the environment that we live in and the people that we associate with. Associate with gossipers, we become grade-A gossipers. Associate with high performers, we become superstars. Associate with children, we become insightful because children, by nativity, can see awe, wonder, and opportunity in circumstances where adults see only negatives and roadblocks.
Children have little in common. In fact, they differ in race, age, and gender. They are born with different dreams and values. Yet, despite their differences, children share one impressive common trait: they do not hesitate to virtuously and virtually bend every rule that is sacred by conventional wisdom. They reap results in leaps and bounds.
Maybe what I am saying does not resonate with you as much as it does with me. Children have a constant disregard for rules. By disposition, children intuitively master ground rules of a subject of interest quickly and then, virtuously bend [not break] the rules to the need they've set for themselves. Since their dreams and goals are raw, lofty, angst-ridden, and untenable by adult standards, we incorrectly regard them as unreasonable, excessive, unrealistic, naïve or far-fetched. Yet, you and I know that exponential accomplishments, everywhere and always, require the abnormal execution of a clear action plan. Children have a compelling zest that decimates the norm and status quo.
No person ever shall achieve greatness without being labeled unreasonable. Without being laughed at. Without being derided. Without being sneered at. Without being questioned. Without being mocked. Without being referred to as outlandish. Yet, they stay faithful to their ideals. If your moves, in business and life, are not disparaged, or you are not referred to as abnormal, think twice, you are not pushing the envelope satisfactorily. Change your strategy. Fast. You are headed for the exit. For destruction. For oblivion. All super-uber achievers and luminaries, in business and life, dance to their own drumbeat, not to that of the world. As far as I can comprehend, every inspirational achievement in the world was created and executed by a wildly inspired human being who was labeled unreasonable, abnormal, a misfit, and a dreamer. George Bernard Shaw was right when he stated, “. . . the reasonable man adapts himself to the world, the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
Everyone is born with lofty dreams and an ultra-high-level obsession to execute them. As kids, we knew what we wanted. And we did not want anyone to stand in our way. We were resolute. Persuasive. Tenacious. Stubbornly unyielding and tough. We worked in a determined but often unreasonable way. But as we aged, we lost the resolve and rarity. Why? Because of our terroir - the environment and associations. Parents cautioned us to ‘behave properly.’ The media treacherously exposed us to different and new ways of living. Culture terribly misled us that men don’t cry and that women are submissive to menfolk. Rulers gracelessly ordered us to be seen but not heard. Commerce falsely trained us to measure whether we are winning or not by the number of chattels and stocks that we enlist in the financial market. Our schoolteachers wrongly educated us to believe that fame, fortune, and applause are far more valuable than joy, peace, and freedom. So, as we grew up, we lost our zest to live according to our emotions - to feel from the inside out. Instead, we accepted their ‘manual of instructions’ and started to live from the outside in. We started to live in the head based on reason instead of in the heart based on our feelings. In fleeing from our rarity and uniqueness, we sadly lost molecules of our birthright. We started to behave like everyone else. Where is the greatness in that type of life?
Lester Chinyang’anya ǀ General Manager - Operations ǀ Minet Malawi
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