Whether you are a business executive, high-school student, street sweeper, medical doctor, grave digger, university professor, barrister, taxi driver, or maharaja, the way you live your life matters not only to you but also to the people around you. Life is a skill. If you want to be good at a certain skill, you must practice. One can’t sing a piece of music if one does not know the lines of the song. Sadly, only very few of us understand that the world presents to us what we put into it.
In the southern part of the country that I am from, it was a dream of every young boy to be a padri. Padri is the Swahili name for priest. It comes without surprise that this region produced more ordained priests than other regions in the country. Padri was a very recognized and highly revered position. It was a high-status position.
A story is told about a newly ordained padri. At the ordination ceremony, as the newly ordained padri and his wife were being introduced to the church congregants, the couple spotted, in the audience, a man who oddly called the name of the priest’s wife. Surprised by the man’s playfulness, the priest asked his wife, “. . . who is that man calling your name oddly?” Faint-heartedly, the wife responded, “. . . that is my old boyfriend.” The priest said thoughtfully, “. . . coming to think about it. If you had married him, you would not have been the padri’s wife – bibi - today.” The wife smiled and answered self-assuredly, “. . . No. If I had married him, he would have been the padri of this church, today.”
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader,” observed John Quincy Adams.
The alchemy of leadership is influence. Positive influence. Influence involves inspiring others to be the best that they can be. The woman in the story above knew herself very well and the influence that she had on people around her. She was a leader. The mark of a leader is to inspire others to dream and reach their potential. Myles Munroe put it better than I could, “. . . the purpose of a leader is to bring followers into leadership and make themselves increasingly unnecessary.”
Success eludes people who have no one to model. Mentorship is the greatest feat of leadership. There are people in our business and social orbits who are capable of becoming great leaders but lack direction. They are ignored. All they need is a small push in the form of mentorship, words of encouragement, or skill empowerment. They need a second set of eyes from an experienced expert or guru. Leo Buscaglia presented this point brilliantly, “. . . too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring – all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Profound point.
Whoever, whatever you become, it is because of ideas and influence - good or bad - of other people. Someone is cheerleading you on the sidelines. No man is self-made. In life, you need to make choices and decisions that are in sync with your life purpose. Suffice it to mention that you get shaped and sharpened by other people’s influence. The writer of Proverbs in the ancient book of Wisdom wrote, “. . . an iron sharpens another iron.” We have at one time or another, received guidance from others on how to go about certain things. It is natural. In return, we are obliged to pass the acquired knowledge along for posterity. Someone is waiting in queue to receive knowledge and mentorship from you. It is your turn to grow others. Whether you know it or not, you are a model to someone. Live your life with due care. You may be messing up someone’s life because of the way you live your life. Be exemplary in word and deed. Sow seeds of mentorship. Seeds of kindness. The tree will grow back to you. Look at the sun - because it provides light without segregation, the trees grow back towards it harmoniously. When you help others to achieve success, you reap the reward twice as much. You are never short of public goodwill. A Nigerian proverb says, “. . . a man who lives on the bank of a river, does not get dry.”
Each one of us is blessed with acres of diamonds. We often fail to mine diamonds of greatness, simply because of self-doubt, fear, and lack of knowledge. We fall short of developing ourselves to true stature. We live a riskless life, remain and die poor. The world presents to us what we put in and seek. Daily. If you put in garbage, you get out garbage in return. If you seek pleasure over work, you remain and die poor. The ancient book of Wisdom says, “. . . whoever loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and olives will never be rich.”
Why is it that under the same sun, some people are successful while others are not? Why is it that in the same resource-stripped country, some people get rich while others live on the margin of success? The answer lies in a line that a friend shared with me a long time ago: “. . . we share the same sky, but different horizons.” In a given situation, some people see opportunities, others see misfortunes.
Live by faith and you will succeed. When you have faith in something, you are able to take action on it. If the action is taken from a well-informed position, you will achieve the intended results. You succeed. If you lack faith, you develop self-doubt. You become inactive. You die poor. Faith entails acting on something when you do not know the end. Faith conquers self-doubt. Faith dispels fear. Faith builds courage. It is only by venturing into the unknown that we grow. Consider driving a car at night. You do not see the whole road when we put the car in motion. All we know is that we will drive to our destination safely. That is faith. Faith keeps us going. “Every triumph of the human spirit begins with the one step taken in faith,” observed Earl Nightingale.
Every adventure of our lives requires faith. You may not see the end of your journey from where you are. Take the first step with faith. Faith is believing in something that you have not seen but hope for. Those who live their lives with faith succeed. Believe that your action will materialize into something of value. Do not sabotage yourself by doubting your judgment. It is what you believe in that determines the course of your life. As you believe so shall it be done to you. The law of attraction hasn’t changed. It says, “. . . what you believe in shall happen to you.” If you believe that you can be a millionaire, you will become one. The grander our beliefs, the greater we become our beliefs. What do you believe in? Who do you want to become? If you believe you are not so much of a person, I regret that is what you become. On the contrary, if you believe that you have what it takes, you will become a success. Most of us are where we are because we believe that is where we ought to be.
Many people fail to act on their best ideas because of fear. Fear of failure. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of being laughed at. Fear of the unknown. Fear makes things that are not existent real. Fear plays a psychological game on our mental faculties. Fear makes us surrender to victimitis infinitis. To overcome fear, we must change our attitude. For a start, do the very things that terrify you. Be daring. By doing the very things that one is afraid of, one befriends the fear. It no longer controls you. When fear owns you, you fail to act on ideas that could take you to another level of success.
Take charge. Overcome fear. Live with failure. The more you fail, the higher the chance that you will succeed in the next trial. If you are to win, do the things that scare you. If you fail, try again. Consider Thomas Edison - he failed more than he succeeded by far.
No matter the size of the fear, when you buy into it, negative pictures occur in your imagination. You stagnate. Fear starts to steal your joy. Fear starts to keep you awake at night. You become depressed. By nature, man hardly acts on something, when he has lost faith. If you associate with fearful people, you too will catch their fear. Fear is infectious. If you have friends who always complain about life, and are afraid to face new challenges of life, this is the right time to rethink the future of your friendship with them. Fear is like fog – it obscures our vision. It makes things look worse than they are. Understand that fear is illusory.
Fear is the greatest barrier to the attainment of success. Fear prevents us from taking action on our dreams. It prevents us from putting one foot in front of another. It prevents us from venturing into new challenges. Sadly, fear robs us of our great future. It is only when we confront fear that we make progress in life. Oh, lest I forget – the way you live your life matters not only to you but to those around you and your significant others. Be careful.
Lester Chinyang’anya | General Manager – Operations | Minet Malawi
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