The power of your truth

 

Mark Twain once said, “. . . the worst loneliness is not to become comfortable with yourself.” Most of us have self-worth issues. We are not comfortable with who we are. Agree - there is no denying that the feeling of not being wanted or liked can be very depressing. Humans are social animals. The number one social necessity of a human being is the need to be appreciated. The need to belong. As we journey this course called life, we meet people who are more likable, more intelligent, more beautiful, more eloquent, more celebrated, more inspiring, more strategic, more organized, and richer than we are. They are simply above board in almost all areas of life. They make things happen in whatever role they find themselves. Sadly, when we become aware that someone in our sphere is better, has more, and does more than us, we cower into a cocoon and develop self-doubt about our abilities and personality. We lose self-belief. We wish we were like them. We become attracted to their personality. Regrettably, we start to copy, imitate and mimic them. We lose our truth. Our identity.

Have you ever come across people who, in trying to compensate for their handicap, go out of their way? Men put on wigs to cover their bald heads. Some folks color their hair to conceal their age. Children mimic the voice of their movie heroes. All these are coping mechanisms – trying to fit in and be accepted by people that are considered to be news-makers. Unfortunately, we end up being ridiculed and inflicting misery upon ourselves. Why try to be the person that you are not and cannot be? My small advice - do not change for people to like you, rather be yourself so that the right people will be with you. You have, within you, the strength, power, and abilities to reach the stars.   

The number one sin that we commit in life is to downgrade ourselves. Is it not written in the holy scriptures that the creator made man in his own image? By downgrading ourselves, are we not in conflict with the creator’s plan for us? We need to focus on the areas that we are good at - our strengths and abilities. Our life purpose is linked to and revealed through our strengths.    

There is a story about an elderly Chagga woman who lived in Moshi near Kilimanjaro mountain. This old woman had two big pots which she molded for carrying water from the nearby stream. Every morning and evening, the woman took the same route to and from the stream with the pots hanging on both ends of a pole, pecked across her creased thick-skinned neck. One pot was cracked. It hardly kept water from the stream to her hut. The other pot was perfect and always carried a full portion of water to the hut. Whereas the perfect pot was proud of its achievement, the cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfection. It felt miserable because it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

One day, the cracked pot spoke to the old woman as she set off from the stream to the hut, “. . . I am ashamed of myself. This crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your hut.” The old woman stopped walking, smiled, and said, “. . . did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? I am aware of your cracked condition and the defect you have. Therefore, I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day, as I walk back to my hut, you water them. For many years, I have been able to pick beautiful flowers to decorate my hut. Tourists from all over the country and the region come to see my hut, admire the flowers, and pay me richly. I also sell some of the flowers to the visitors.  Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the hut and make me rich.”

Moral of the story - God uses what you have, who you are, and right where you are. Just be yourself. How much you like yourself directly determines your performance in all areas of your life. Accept yourself for who you are. Let other people inspire you but do not imitate or copy them. Have you not heard before that we are all insane but the degree of insanity is what differentiates us? In the same way, we are all imperfect. It’s the degree of imperfection that differs. We are all in a state of growth. Improving. Do not reject yourself simply because you cannot conform to standards set by society. Remember the words of John F. Kennedy, “. . . conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.”

You can achieve whatever you desire in life – good health, financial independence, happiness - simply by believing in your abilities. Not imperfections. Every day, see yourself as someone who is on the path to success. Stop holding negative images about yourself. Treat yourself like a king. A queen. Behave like a winner. Understand that your appearance speaks louder than your spoken words. Feel important and the world will treat you like one. Draw positive images of yourself. Help the person called ‘you’ to be a winner in life.  Stop seeking approval from people. You have a special place in the world. Accept and sit on it. It’s yours. Seek your true north and work to reach your potential. Do not pull yourself down. Remember the world is like a bicycle -  the moment you stop peddling, you fall. When you are comfortable with yourself, you become a serial achiever and that’s the power of your truth.

Most of us think that because we do not appear on magazine covers or appear on television or make newspaper headlines, we are not good enough. We start to play second fiddle to every person that we meet and interact with. To bring ourselves back into the game, we start imitating others. What a big embarrassment. Understand that no one will pity you and your inadequacy if you are a copy. Your creator made you an original, why settle for a copy? Do not do things to impress others, rather impress yourself so that you make things happen. And achieve success. When we stop believing in ourselves, we lose our identity. I always get inspired by the words of Wayne Dyer, “. . . self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worth.”

No one will accept you or follow you if you cannot accept and lead yourself. You may not have all the qualities that society requires for the spot that you shoot at in life. Believe me. No one has. Whatever you have is enough to move you up and make you successful. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction is the biggest step. Helen Keller once said, “. . . keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.” Believe in the best. Not in the worst. Looking at oneself negatively generates poor results. If we continue to achieve poor results, it brings frustration and misery to our life. Our response to situations becomes increasingly flawed. In the end, we write ourselves off. As they say - performance talks. When we write ourselves off, the world writes us off in return -  that is a recipe for disaster.   

Each one of us was custom-made for a specific purpose. Never mind your height, weight, age, gender, race, or social status. You may be a denarian or septuagenarian or female working in a male-dominated arena or have an ‘academic short-circuit.’ Still, be yourself.  You were planted on earth to fulfill a specific purpose. You will attain your purpose when and only when you are in your own shoes not in someone else's. You will completely miss your purpose if you are not comfortable with yourself. 

If we do not understand the purpose we were meant to fulfill, our untapped potential remains idle within us. Commit to discovering your purpose lest you go to the grave with the potential unused and the song unsung. It will be shameful and unforgivable to go to the grave and be buried with our potential still packed. Untouched. Unrealized. Not using your potential is like losing an instruction manual for a new washing machine. You cannot make use of the washing machine’s full capacity. Since each one of us was created to fulfill a certain purpose, the conditions to reach and realize that purpose were also uploaded and put in place by the creator. If we fail to achieve our life goals, it’s because of the limitations that we impose upon ourselves, knowingly or unknowingly. Do not make the mistake of comparing yourself with what others have achieved or are achieving. You have the power like everyone else to turn setbacks, inadequacies, handicaps, and adversities better. If you always picture yourself as a disappointment, verily I say unto you, that is the way you will sign off from the world. Norman Vincent Peale put it more assertively than I could when he said, “. . . believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities. Without humble but reasonable confidence in your powers, you cannot be successful.” Stop under-selling yourself by adopting self-doubt. You are the most important person on earth. Repeat – the most important person on earth. Self-doubt is a poor chisel for carving success. Discover and believe in the life you were meant to live and share with others. Was it not Boris Pasternak who coined the adage that, “. . . man is born to live not to prepare for life.” My invitation to you is simple - be yourself. Always.

Lester Chinyang’anya ǀ General Manager - Operations ǀ Minet Malawi