It was short. It only lasted for 15 minutes. Yet it is ranked not only as the most memorable commencement speech of all time but also as the most watched in history. At his Stanford University commencement speech, Steve Jobs skillfully imparted unequaled nuggets of rare wisdom to his attentive audience - graduating students - to pursue dreams, see opportunities in life’s setbacks, and rebel against negative opinions that some people place on others. Jobs put it rightfully, “. . . Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, dare to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” The iconic Steve Jobs said these words a decade and a half ago, but his point is still valid today.
After leaving Yahoo in 2007, Brian Acton applied for a job at Twitter. Despite being good at the job, surprisingly, his application was turned down. Immediately after receiving news of his rejection, he tweeted, “. . . #got denied by Twitter. That’s ok. Would have been a long commute#.” Hitherto, Acton was considered to be the best computer coder of his time. You have probably heard the old saying before – ‘it never rains but pours.’ That’s exactly what happened to Acton. A year after Twitter’s rejection, Acton sent another application to work at Facebook. He was rejected. Again. He took his rebuff to social media and tweeted, “. . . #Facebook turned me down. It was a great opportunity to connect with some fantastic people. Looking forward to life’s next adventure#.” Acton never took the two rejections as a veto against his skills or personality but as a shackle of limits that the people he was dealing with had placed on him. He handled Twitter's and Facebook’s rejections with humility. He kept looking forward to the next adventure. He took one year sabbatical. With his friend, he headed to South America, where he incubated an idea that materialized into an instant messaging service, WhatsApp. Guess what? In 2014, Facebook approached Acton and bought WhatsApp, an application co-invented and co-owned by the same Brian Acton that they snubbed to employ. He carted a cool $19 billion from the deal. Repeat - nineteen billion United States Dollars. He instantly became a multi-billionaire and smiled all the way to the bank.
Big lesson. Don’t let the opinions of other people hold back your vision. Understand that we all live under the same sky, but we have different horizons. Your horizon may be wider than others’. If you concentrate on the opinions of other people, trust me, you will see what is available or the possibilities of the world according to who they are, . . . according to their limited scope of thinking . . . according to what they talk about and . . . not according to who you are. Don’t let the feedback of other people crush your aspiration. The dominant trap of human interpretation is thinking that the way you, as an individual, see the world is the way everyone else sees it. There is no grain of truth in it. We see the world differently - not the way it is, but the way we are. You and I view the world through stained glasses. Some glasses are so stained that holders can’t see what the future holds for them and others vis-à-vis possibilities and opportunities.
Acton couldn’t have earned $19 billion if Facebook or Twitter had employed him. The fact that something does not go according to your plan does not mean that you are cursed. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Treat it as a bend in the road, not an end. Instead of dwelling on hurts, rejections, disappointments, discouragements, or past mistakes, the key to reaching your mountaintop is to remember your dream. Life has a way of pushing down or delaying your dreams and restoring them. For good reasons. Understand that when one door closes, another opens. Focus on the new door. Forget about the closed door. Put one boot in front of the other.
If you listen to and entertain every piece of voice that falls into your ear, as feedback or opinion, you will end up living someone else's life. The danger is that if their way of viewing the world is limited, verily I say unto you, you will end up living a limited life. You will not be able to execute your native magnum opus, which nature destined for you and put you on earth for. Prime Minister Winston Churchill was a wise statesman. Churchill put it better than I could when he observed, “. . . you will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” The world is full of ‘barking dogs.’ They come in all sizes and forms as feedback, opinions, viewpoints, guidance, and pro-bono advice. Run your own race. Be clear with your goals, otherwise, you will never hit your life aspirations. Know which barking dogs to lend ear to, which ones to hurl a stone at, and which ones to ignore. I am not saying that we should not listen to feedback or other people’s opinions. No. All I am saying is that we must be discerning. Not all feedback is good for us.
In 1986, Kodak maverick engineer, Steven Sasson, developed breakthrough technology. Every employee working at Kodak at that time was elated and convinced that the invention would revolutionize the industry, give the company a clear head start and a gargantuan competitive advantage against rivals, and put the company on a salubrious trajectory. Sasson had developed the first digital camera. Peerless. The first of its kind. When he and his team took the invention to leadership for feedback and approval, the engineers’ idea was miserably shot down, rejected with abandoned ridicule, “. . . Kodak is a film company.” The mavericks were directed to discontinue working on the project immediately and to drop their so-called earth-shattering invention. The engineers went back to their studios and complied with the directive - that was the last nail in the coffin. Today, as I write, Kodak is bankrupt. Why did Kodak fail despite being the biggest name of its time with 80 percent of global market share in the field of photography? What exactly initiated the downfall and killed Kodak? Hmm. Because the mastermind technologists received, entertained, and complied with feedback that was limited in scope concerning the future of digital technology.
We all receive feedback. We all take delivery of advice. Don’t we? Listening to feedback or taking heed to advice is not bad. Not at all. In fact, it must be encouraged. It is how we evaluate the feedback and what we do with it that matters. Understand that the voices we listen to impact our destiny.
I have, in my life, heard and read many awe-inspiring stories. That of Gabrielle fascinates me, the most. It’s a story about a young girl who repositioned herself, . . . who shifted from rags to riches to being the world’s leading fashion designer and apparel trendsetter of her time by simply challenging limits that others placed on her, . . . who rebelled against negative comments, . . . who ignored barking dogs – to borrow Winston Churchill’s words.
True story. Gabrielle grew up in utter poverty. Her father, a matumba (secondhand clothes) street vendor, dumped Gabrielle and two siblings at a convent upon the death of their mom. Life at the convent was tough. The young girl arrived at the convent vacuous. Her only possessions were clothes that she had put on. Upon registration, she was given two pieces of dresses. Formless. Same color. When she attended higher school, she was mocked and shunned. Fee-paying students looked down on her due to her poor background. She was mercilessly humiliated and was told that she would amount to nothing. Thanks to her good reading habit – she came across a book character that inspired her to reach for the stars. She referenced the book character as her model.
Despite the toxic environment that she found herself in, Gabrielle developed a passion for theatre as a stage singer, actor, and dancer. Some visiting aristocrats got attracted by her determination, and charm and took her under their wings. She found herself living as a courtesan among courtiers in chateaux. Nonetheless, it never rained but poured for Gabrielle - her fellow courtesans disparaged her for what they dubbed ‘not having feminine body structure.’ They ridiculed her. Laughed at her. Poked silly jokes at her. Unconcerned, Gabrielle made use of the very ‘stone that the builder despised as corner stone’ for her career and future businesses. Yes, she utilized the very thing that her friends mocked her for as a launching pad to stardom, treating ridicule, mockery, and negative comments as stepping stones, not as setbacks. Accepting herself as having a masculine body structure and to the surprise of her critics, Gabrielle invented dressing of her own, which had a masculine style. It made her look different. More negative feedback and more ridicule followed. She didn’t listen to them.
Slowly everyone in town was talking about her stylish attire, which quickly created a sensation and became a hit among the affluent. With her style of attire becoming trendy, Gabrielle became popular, not only in chateaux among courtiers and courtesans but in the entire region. She continued to create styles and fashion that were against the times and industry, diversifying into jewelry. Handbags. Fragrances. And other cosmetic accessories. She popularized her fashion as a brand with two crossed Cs.
To cut the long story short, Gabrielle’s fashion imprint dubbed Coco Chanel is seen in duty-free shops at international airports, shopping malls, boutiques, and major hairdressing salons in every corner of the world. Trademark perfumes - Chanel No. 5, Chanel mademoiselle, Chance Chanel, Chanel Noir; Trademark cosmetics - Chanel face-powder, liquid eyeliner, and lipsticks. Yes, the Chanel label is synonymous with chic apparel, handbags, hats, shoes, jewelry, specs, and serviettes. Her brand has developed to become an object of desire by modern men and women. Worldwide. Will I be wrong to state that no modern man or woman passes through life without aspiring Coco Chanel products and fashion accessories? Ask any fashion-conscious woman and they will conceivably tell you that it feels super hip, youthful, and modern to wear the Chanel mademoiselle perfume. Would you not shower kudos to Gabrielle Bonheur Coco Channel - a poor girl who grew up ignored and shunned but reviled on her deathbed, . . . a young woman who was mercilessly humiliated but never accepted the limits that her adversaries put on her?
Never blend in. Always stand out. Whatever life throws at you, make good use of it. Heed in the old Persian proverb, “. . . the stone that the builders rejected, became the chief cornerstone.”
I'm sure you appreciate music. But I don’t know if you are familiar with the Beatles. The Beatles are probably the most famous and decorated music band in the world. Well-traveled band. Done gigs in every corner of the globe. Recipient of different medals. Its band members have been nominated for billboard music awards and received different accolades. Standing ovations. Many times. The band has had its songs topping pop music charts in Europe, Australia, and America for decades. It’s simply the best band in the world. Yet, its founder John Lennon was told by his aunt that he would never be able to make a living out of playing the guitar. At one point, a music recording company turned down the band’s bid to record their new album saying, “. . . we don’t like their sound. After all, guitar music is on its way out.” You have heard the saying before, ‘. . . he who laughs last, laughs the best.’ Who is laughing now? You and I are witnesses of John Lennon’s rise to stardom and the Beatles’ success.
One thing that determines the level of our potential and predicts the quality of our results and success in life is our ability and inability to decode and evaluate feedback. Most of us tend to take advice or feedback at its face value. We need to go beyond face value. We must always be discerning and filter out the dross.
Whenever I have the opportunity to give a speech on leadership and personal mastery to audiences, I always tell a story about a woman who was diagnosed with debilitating cancer when her baby boy was just three years old. Reading the diagnosis report, the doctor told the woman that she would die within a year. The woman wept bitterly. Why? She wouldn’t imagine the tough life that her child would undergo after her death.
Most of us, reading this piece, would surrender to the doctor’s diagnosis and wait to die within a year. Not the woman in the story. She made a decision and said to herself, “. . . I won’t die unless I witness my son graduate from university.” True, she fortified her resolve. She defied the doctor’s diagnosis - which in itself was a death sentence - and lived twenty-five years longer. She witnessed her son’s graduation not only with a bachelor’s degree but also with his master's and doctorate degrees.
This story emphasizes the importance of challenging the limits that some people place on us. It’s only by knowing our destination - what we want to achieve in life and our purpose - that we will be able to defy the odds. I struggle to understand how a mortal, made of flesh, blood, and bones, could prophesy the future of a fellow mortal. It baffles me.
Live life on your own terms. Just like the woman in the story, let the doctor have his diagnosis report and you go your way to achieve your goal. In life, when you set yourself a goal, you’ll hit impediments. Snags. You’ll encounter discouragements. Disappointments. You’ll meet naysayers, who will remind you about people, who in the past, tried to do what you plan to do or who attempted to achieve the same goal but failed miserably. Whenever you come across such vendetta, think about Brian Acton - his rejections at Twitter, and Facebook versus his WhatsApp messaging service. Think about Gabrielle Coco Chanel – the mockery that she endured versus her moniker fashion design, signature perfumes, and cosmetics. Think about John Lennon - his aunt’s ‘prophesy’ and the Beatles’ success. Yes, think about Steven Sasson and his earth-shattering invention, the digital camera. Most important, remember the wise words of Steve Jobs, “. . . don’t live with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others drown out your inner voice.” There is no logic in playing small – in settling for a life that is far less than the one you were destined to live.
The larger point is that the path to the mountaintop is laid with snares and vices. To try to block you from reaching your dream. It is a road less traveled. You will step on landmines. As long as these singularities do not come from the supreme faculty of the head that is housed between your two ears, you are set to hit your life goals. I like what Henry David Thoreau, one of my favorite writers, said, “. . . I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” Believe in your forte and conscience. Your mind can’t direct you to think about or begin something that you can’t accomplish. Never. When you set yourself a goal, the deity provides you with resources for its realization. Nobody can prevent you from achieving success except yourself.
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