Show me the pond you fish from, and I will show you what you catch

 Today, I will talk about you. Yes, you. I may not know you, personally. I may not be familiar with your dreams, desires, goals, vision, problems, challenges, fears. But I am certain about one thing - I owe you the truth. What you are about to read, in this posting, will help you move closer to your inspiring dream, incrementally, just like it has for numerous others. You need to understand that choices that you are making today on various issues have a downright propensity of shaping who you will become tomorrow and will have a huge impact on the lives of your family and direct descendants even three generations after you are gone. Select them wisely.

Everything you do, today, is important, has meaning, impacts your future and the world around you. For better and for worse. In fact, the smallest, not the noblest of action is the one that creates great impact on who you are becoming and the legacy you will leave. 

Personal development is not a hundred-meter splint race that you run in your own lane. No. You are in touch with others to help you learn the ropes. Fortunately, there is an enduring and reliable way to develop yourself. Find someone, who has gone through the journey and achieved mastery of the area you are working on. Model yourself based on his or her experience. Whoever said birds of a feather flock together got it right. Lines by Rodgers and Hammerstein which was adopted by Liverpool Football Club drive the point home; “Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you will never walk alone.” Yes, you will never walk alone. You can raise the quality of your life by seeking out people, who have been on the road you are on. If you want to be a great chef, it only makes sense that you associate with great chefs. If you want to be a great writer, likewise, spend time with intellectuals and distinguished gurus of the media. Sit under the tutelage of the ‘maharishi’ of insurance if your goal is to be a top insurance practitioner. Seek out celebrated entrepreneurs if you want to establish your own business outfit. You want to be a think-tank? Associate with the learned. “The elevator to the top is out of order. You have to take the stairs,” remarked Zig Ziglar, seasoned author and trainer.  There are no short-cuts to mastery. Always take the highway. 

Re-read the title of the article - Show Me the Pond You Fish from and I Will Show You What You Catch. Yes, I can, with the blink of an eye, define who you are by the people you keep company of, the person you try to emulate, people you model yourself after. Who do you spend most of your time with? What do they do? What books do they read? One wise man said, “you are a combined average of five people you often associate with.” If the five people you regularly associate with are negative, chances are that you are a five-star negative person. If you associate with people, who are always complaining, backbiting, whining, criticizing, or disapproving, odds are that you are a faultfinder and bigwig complainant. Jim Rohn, renowned speaker, author, and coach said; “go where the expectations are so strong that they provoke you, push you, urgently insist that you not remain in one place. That way, you will grow and change.” Powerful statement. If you keep company of people who are going nowhere in the world, verily verily, I say unto you, you are headed for the grave and that is not a good place to be. 

The point of wisdom is, positively or negatively, you are influenced by people you spend most of your time with. Select them wisely. They can make or sink you. Seek out people who are result-oriented, not storytellers. Is there someone at your place of work that you really admire and want to emulate their life? Seek them out. They are your heroes. Heroines. Mentors. Reference points. Celebrate them. Find out how they got started, what keeps them going, what makes them tick, what makes them cry, how do they recharge their batteries? What is their life philosophy? Do not look at your models the way they are. Go deeper and you will discover that they, perhaps, started from humble beginnings. Whatever has been said in praise of successful people, the truth of the matter is that no one is born into a perfect life. Certainly not. We all start from ground zero.

Back in the days, in my economics class, I learned that every choice one makes, has an opportunity cost. Bring it home - every choice that you make carries risk. Beware of the person you are modelling. Their philosophy becomes your philosophy. You are shaped by their values and attitude. Take time to understand their standards. Where are they headed to? 

Take stock of the people you often talk to, your boss, your spouse, your peers, people at the gym, imbibers at your favorite watering hole, business associates. Are they moving in the right direction? Are they living a life you aspire to emulate? What type of legacy are they prepared to leave? If you were to continue associating with people you keep company, where will you be in three years’ time? Beware of what you are becoming as you pursue what you want. The sad story is that most of us admire and emulate psychopaths and we end up being psychopaths. We are cut from the same cloth. Watch out for the naked man who gives you his shirt. Be discerning.

Are you emulating someone, who is busy with the business of being busy? We often misconstrue ‘busy-ness’ with business. Ask any personal development therapist and they will tell you that it is not ‘busy-ness’ that counts but taking the right action. 

When you are with the person you model after, what do you talk about? Are your conversations about growth, self-reflection, achievement of audacious dreams or about blame, gossip, accusations, bringing someone down? Are your discussions forward-looking or past-oriented? Model after a person, who lives in the present, pulled by the future and not the past. Model after people, who take responsibility when the heat is on, who are achievement oriented. Model philanthropists. Yes, model givers, not takers. 

Whatever you are doing, you need to realize that the traits you try to emulate from your mentor, account to your level of mastery. The most important thing to understand is that you, in turn, are influencing others to model after you. As John Maxwell, celebrated leadership and personal development coach put it; “Leadership is influence.” You are serving as a standard, a leader, a guide, a mentor, to others, knowingly or unknowingly. Are you worthy emulating? Do you model behavior that you would want to see in your son or daughter or your loved ones? Here is a test for you; ‘would the child that you once were, be pleased with the person you have become?’ Your answer to this question reveals depth, size and type of the pond you are fishing from. The world will witness what you catch. Earl Nightingale, father of modern personal development put it better than I could; “it is not what happens in the world that determines a major part of your future. What happens, happens to us all. The key is what you do about it.” Wise man. 

Views from the top are that no matter how great your achievements may be, it are the other people that make them meaningful, whether you like it or not. It is the law of nature. It has not changed and will not change. In other words, your success means nothing if you do not have someone to influence, acknowledge and share it with. The person or persons you model after has or have undeniably influence on (un)locking your future and success. You have the power to select them. Select them wisely. O lest I forget; show me the pond you fish from, and I will show you what you catch. (As they say in Swahili - nionyeshe bwawa unakovulia samaki, na mimi nitakuonyesha ni samaki gani utavua). 

Lester Chinyang’anya ǀ General Manager - Operations ǀ Minet Malawi